Facing Her Past
by SupremeEvilRegal
Summary: "You were mumbling and thrashing around, something about 'dad?" Regina said, her voice confused. Emma was glad Regina was looking away from her so she wouldn't notice the stray tear and her jaw shake as she swallowed back her tears." Emma has a nightmare and Regina tries to console her- but this means bringing up Emma's past.


_"Dad?" Emma said, trying to get him to notice her. She could hear people talking all around her. The men in their florescent coats flashed in and out of her sight through the shattered glass, trying to get her and her dad into the ambulance. "Daddy!"_

* * *

"Emma? Emma, wake up, Emma sweetie?" Emma whimpered and rolled towards the hands shaking her shoulders. She opened one eye and saw Regina leaning over her, her face worried.

"What happened?" Emma mumbled, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She was desperately hoping Regina wouldn't notice the tremble in her voice, or the cold sweat covering her body.

Regina sat back from her slightly and spoke. "You were mumbling and thrashing around, something about 'dad'?" Regina said, her voice confused. Emma was glad Regina was looking away from her so she wouldn't notice the stray tear and her jaw shake as she swallowed back her tears. Emma just laughed shakily.

"Nah, you- you must have been dreaming, R. I've never had a dad, you know that," Emma's smile quivered and Regina knew she was lying. She moved her hand to grasp Emma's, her thumb gently stroking the smooth, damp skin.

"Talk to me Emma," Regina whispered, moving closer, but Emma removed herself from the bed, running her hands through her hair, laughing nervously, the sound coming out awfully high pitched and fake.

"Talk? No, I, I need the bathroom, I'll be back, I'm fine, just- you know-" Emma was rambling and Regina knew. She stood from the bed and took both of Emma's hands.

"I know you're meant to have the superpower, dear, but you're lying to me." Regina whispered, and Emma felt herself panic. Regina was so close, and so pressuring. The room was closing in- was it hot? Emma licked her dry lips and kept swallowing, her hands trembling.

"No, I-" she started, and Regina could see the sweat starting to form on Emma's head.

"Come here," Regina mumbled, pulling Emma to the balcony, where the two could sit on her swing seat in the cool, night air. Emma needed help to walk there, her legs were shaking.

They sat and Regina wrapped her arm around Emma, who automatically melted into her, her head resting on Regina's shoulder and her arms wrapped around her waist.

Regina could only hold her close, not wanting to pressure her, but not willing to just let it go.

"I'm sorry," Emma said, after a minute or two and her shaking had stopped. But Regina just shook her head.

"Don't apologize, sweetie. Just talk to me, let me in, Emma, let me help- please?" Regina said quietly and she felt Emma take in a shaky breath, nodding.

* * *

_"You ready, Princess?" Emma laughed and thundered down the spiral staircase in her Cinderella frock._

_"What do you think, daddy?" she said, giggling and spinning._

_"Oh you're my precious angel!" he laughed, picking her up and spinning her around. "Would you like to know what I've bought?"_

_Emma nodded her head enthusiastically, so much so, the crown perched on her head slipped down and covered her eyes, making him laugh._

_"Well Princess, I've got a few days off work and..." he shifted and pulled something out of his pocket. "Would you like to go on holiday?"_

_Emma gasped and felt tears fill her eyes. He was holding two Disneyworld tickets in his hands. Emma reached out and clutched them to her chest, nodding vigorously. "Yes, yes, yes!" she exclaimed, squeezing her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek._

_He smiled and kissed her head, "Happy Birthday, princess," he said happily, placing her on the floor. "Now I'll go run your bath and we'll get you off to bed, yes?" Emma nodded and gave the tickets back to him, smiling shyly._

_"In case I lose them, daddy," she said and he smiled, ruffling her hair._

_"Good idea, sweetie. I'll keep them safe, don't you worry!" Emma grinned and bounced upstairs to put away her princess dress before going to bed._

* * *

Regina frowned, her arms still around Emma as she told Regina about her past. She kept her mouth shut, confused as to how this made Emma so sad.

"It was for my sixth birthday. He got me a few days off school and we drove to Florida..."

* * *

_"Sorry we had to leave, but maybe we'll go next year?" he said gently as the car pulled out onto the interstate. Emma nodded, not wanting to push her luck._

_"I would love to daddy- thank you for taking me," she said, smiling brightly and clutching her new Mickey doll._

_He grinned down at her. "Anything for my princess- maybe we can go every year, and one day you'll be big enough to get on all the rides!" he laughed and so did she. It was an overwhelming feeling, as Emma had never felt loved or that she belonged until now- until this moment. She reached over to squeeze his hand._

_"Love you, daddy," she whispered, yawning. He smiled down at her, and stroked her head._

_"Love you too, princess," he said as Emma rested her head and fell asleep._

* * *

Emma took a deep breath and from the way her voice caught every time she tried to speak, or the way she clung to Regina's hand, the brunette sensed this was the worst part coming. Emma squeezed Regina and cuddled closer to her, unintentionally, and she mumbled. "Those were his last words to me," Regina closed her eyes and bit her lip. Her heart broke for Emma. She placed a kiss on her head and kept stroking her side, willing her to continue without pressurising her.

* * *

_Emma awoke to the feeling of flying and a screech of breaks and loud cries. "Daddy?" she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep. She noticed it was much darker than before and the air bag had exploded in front of her. "Daddy?" she said again, louder this time._

_She could hear voices mumbling outside the car but she felt the familiar fear creep up inside her. "Daddy!" she cried, she couldn't see him next to her. It was black. Emma felt the car closing in on her and the air becoming thick. She started panting and tried to remove her seatbelt to get out the car, but it wasn't working, her hands were shaking too much. She cried and cried, desperate to get out of the car._

_Her head started spinning and her cries for her father became quieter before she threw up and passed out. _

* * *

Emma had started to cry again and Regina finally spoke. "You don't have to continue, I understand how much this must hurt-" but Emma shook her head and sniffed.

"No, no 'Gina. I-I've started and you deserve to know, you deserve to know. We promised honesty or this wouldn't work." Emma said, a small smile on her face as she said those words. Regina smiled and placed a kiss on her lips.

"You're right, dear..." she said, her sentence tailing off as Emma clutched her hand to continue.

* * *

_When Emma next opened her eyes she was greeted to the sight of white all around her and beeping echoing through her head. She moaned before coughing suddenly, throwing head to the side of the bed to vomit. She heard the clatter of footsteps and smiled sleepily, thinking it was her father. "Daddy?" she mumbled, but she was not welcomed with his soft laugh and gentle hands, but with rough fingers and harsh tones._

_She whimpered and shifted away from the man's prods, wrapping her arms around herself. It was then Emma noticed that she wasn't in her new, beautiful princess dress and she wasn't clutching her Mickey Mouse._

_Emma felt the familiar fear creep up inside her- and it only increased when she saw Susan walking towards her, her face grim._

_"Emma, I have some bad news for you," Susan started, trying to tell Emma that she would now have to come back to the orphanage as her 'father' no longer was able to look after her._

_Tears dripped down her face as Emma shook her head. Susan squeezed her arm and flashed her a lipsticky smile. "Come back with me tonight and we'll settle you in. Your father wrote that he wanted you at the funeral, so we'll talk about that in the morning." Susan said, matter of factly. Emma didn't miss the eye roll or the mumbled, "God knows why." _

_Emma didn't understand. Her father couldn't be dead- it wasn't possible. He'd promised to never leave her, ever. She felt Susan tug her hand to pull her from the bed and Emma followed her lead aimlessly._

_"Am I allowed to say goodbye?" she whispered to Susan, but she just shook her head._

_"No, the hospital don't let children see the bodies," Emma nodded, her tears still falling._

_"May I get my things?"_

_Susan snickered, "what? What things? They belong to Stephen, not you."_

_"But my doll-"_

_"It was torn, I put it in the trash in case it cased you an infection of sorts. It looked so raggedy!" Susan let out a tinkling laugh, making Emma shiver with disgust._

_She hated Susan, had done since the beginning, but what could she do? Susan was her social worker and there was no way to avoid her- even if Emma did receive her 'happy ending', Susan would always be lurking, just to "check up!"_

_Emma scowled as Susan pulled her through the hospital and into her fancy car._

_"Come on, smile! You hardly knew him." She spoke the next line and Emma mouthed it with her, she said this every time Emma was slung back to her._

_"Maybe the next one will be your happy ending!"_

* * *

By now, Emma had cuddled right into Regina, her body trembling at the memories. She hated thinking about that time. All Regina could do was wrap her arms tightly around her and assure her that she was safe and that Regina would never leave her.

After Emma's tears stopped, Regina asked her about the funeral.

"What happened then? How did he die?"

Emma shrugged underneath her arms. "Accident. We'd been driving and someone pulled out, making him swerve into the side of the road, crashing into a large bush. It was on a cliff..." Regina gasped, shocked at how close Emma had come to dying. She squeezed her tight and placed a kiss on her head.

"Dad died soon after the ambulance got there- he had enough time to say I was his kid though," Emma smiled. "I know it wasn't true, but that's what's kept me here you know? After all the shit that happened in foster homes, I tried Regina-" Emma stopped herself, not wanting to bring up more painful memories. Her fingers covered her wrist subconsciously and Regina nodded, understanding what she meant. Emma continued, wanting to forget what she's started to say.

"I stayed because it's what he would have wanted. He really wanted me, and he wanted me to do well and be happy," her voice broke. "And that's the most important thing to me now, to live for him-"

Emma stopped herself before her tears could get the better of her. She took deeps breaths as Regina rubbed her arms.

"Look you don't have to continue, I don't want to bring up bad memories," Emma nodded her head, reaching for Regina's head, squeezing it.

"Thank you," Emma mumbled, bringing Regina's hand to her lips to press gentle kisses to her knuckles.

"Whatever for, dear?"

Emma shrugged and laced their fingers together. "Listening? Being there... letting me talk- loving me?"

Regina smiled and dipped her head to capture Emma's lips. "I can assure you, the pleasure was all mine."

Emma smiled and sighed, leaning up against her, shivering in the night air. Regina noticed and shifted to try stand up. "Come on, let's go back to bed before you freeze, you're still in your tank top." Emma nodded and stood, but never let go of Regina's hand.

The two walked back inside and Regina locked the door before crawling back into bed with Emma. She wrapped her arms around her waist and Emma nestled into her.

"Love you, Regina," she mumbled, her eyes falling closed and her body giving into the exhaustion.

Regina smiled and kissed her head. "Love you too, Emma."


End file.
